Monday, May 23, 2011

Farewell Letter

I set this to go live at 6:30pm local time, May 21. Since the world didn't end, I removed it, but am pasting it here today:

Greetings Sinner(s),

If you are reading this, you are obviously confused by all the clothes in the street. The first thing you need to know is what you are experiencing right now is deep sadness--never again will you see a Kirk Cameron movie. Let that sink in.

Don't be to sad about things. There is still much to look forward to…including, but not limited to:

*I hear that guy from Creed is cutting a new album about being reborn after realizing he missed the end--it's going to be great!
*Smurfs 3D.
*You get to find out whose replacing Michael on the Office.
*CNN's live coverage of world in complete chaos is going to be amazing!
*You get to make fun of all the people who claimed to be Christians, but got left behind.

Don't worry about the homeless not getting their allotted charity--Christians weren't helping them anyway. They'll be fine.

For those who need money, my pin # is 1234. I don't need it now anyway. But I doubt US currency will be good anymore--now that China is the leader of the free world.

Let me finish by saying this: when you are looting my house, please feed my cats. They are hungry and thirsty. I've been so busy getting ready to leave, I forgot to leave them a little extra.

No comments:

Post a Comment