Several members of Conservapedia are going to make a Conservative Bible.
According to Conservapedia, their Bible translation will go by ten guidelines:
1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"; using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."
According to Conservapedia, many of our favorite Bible passages are actually corrupted liberal translations of the original text. For example:
The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34: "Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'" Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.
But isn't that verse also in the King James Version? So are they saying that the evil liberals have been corrupting God's Word since the 1600's? Man, those lefties sure are crafty!
Maybe it's just my own "liberal bias", but it seems like this Conservative Bible doing exactly what it accuses the Left of doing: distorting the Bible to fit its own political agenda. On the bright side, this and The American Patriot's Bible will make great Christmas presents for the far-right-winger in your family!